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In Defense of Selfies...It's all tit for tat.

Posted by Denise Daisy on September 15, 2014 at 10:05 AM

 

Today’s society is focused on appearance or to put it more accurately, society is focused on the “appearance” of appearance. Unfortunately selfies have taken a beating by so many. And if you dare post one, be prepared for ridicule by those who secretly admire themselves but do not have the courage to post selfies. Let’s face it, we all take selfies every day. We all have mirrors in our home and spend time in front of them, making sure we are satisfied with the result of our primping before we head out the door and face the world. Whether we will admit it or not, we are obsessed with how we look. I believe there is just as much effort in achieving the “I don’t care, I’m just me look,” as there is in trying to impress with the dress. Believe me there are hair products that achieve the “I just climbed out of bed look.” Plastic surgeons, Botox injectors, rejuvenation clinics, tattoo parlors and beauty salons never suffer during hard economic times because one thing is for certain, come hell or high water we are going to look good.

Suzanne Collins in her Hunger Games series drew a superficial picture of the people who dwelled in the Capital. They dyed their skin as well as their hair and tattooed their bodies to resemble felines, or other animalistic creatures. Her book is futuristic but really, are we that far removed from the practice?

For years I worked in the beauty industry. I am a licensed cosmetologist specializing in hair color and extensions. I spent countless hours dipping strands of hair in hot glue and attaching it to women’s heads so they will have long luscious locks like the stars. The difference is, other than the price, the stars use their hair as a costume for performing in front of millions. My clients wore their hair to the grocery store and then home to mop the floor. What gives? Why the need for the extra knee length hair? I am not complaining, their business put bread on my table, but I often wondered why they felt they need to have all that hair. I am not judging by any means because yes, I used to wear them too. I can make the excuse that I wore them as advertisement, so I was my own walking billboard, but in actuality, they made me feel feminine and pretty. Besides that, I’ve wore them for so long, I got used to the extra hair. So when I did take them out, I felt like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, with four strands of hair attached to my scalp. I became addicted to hair! I have wonderful daughters who think I am beautiful just the way I am. They admit I’d be just as lovely if I never wore and ounce of makeup, and let my own natural shade grow in and take over the jet black dye I douse on my roots every three weeks. They say I’m beautiful when I “fix up” but just as beautiful when I “wake up.” That’s comforting to know and I do think about their compliments from time to time, but still I do not have the courage to go all natural just yet.

All my life I have gotten unwanted beauty advice from well-meaning friends and family who feel the need to change my appearance. I was told by someone once that my eyeliner was too thick, my hair too full and sexy, and my earrings were too big. (This was in the early 90’s when big earrings were in style. I was addicted to big earrings back then, the bigger the better. I almost lifted some hubcaps off a car once and ran a hook through them so they could dangle from my ears.) My friend even took me out to dinner for the sole purpose of discussing my appearance. Her comment to me was this,

“I wish I had a million staff wives with your heart….BUT” (there will always be a big “but” after a compliment if it isn’t sincere) “we must to something about your style.”

So here is a little secret:

Guess what? We were all created different for a reason. We all have different ideas of what is beautiful, and if we were to poll our friends and ask them their favorite colors we’d get different answers. I say it’s time to keep our opinions to ourselves unless asked. One girl may dream of being a Disney princess while another dreams of being a vagabond gypsy. One might enjoy the malls and boutiques while another craves the outdoors. One might be obsessed with being stick thin while another enjoys food and loves her curves. One woman might like a chic short hairstyle perfectly coiffed while another loves the long unruly bedhead look. One might want to stencil their body with brightly colored tats while another prefers her plain unmarked skin. You are a child of the Creator. He designed your hair in a way where you can change the color to your choosing. If he had given us synthetic hair we wouldn’t have that privilege. I believe he gave us a pretty blank canvas and allows us to create. The only manufacturer’s instruction on the model gives a piece of advice.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful”.

He never says don’t fix yourself up, he simply says don’t let that be where your beauty comes from.

I can buy new furniture, paint the walls in my house, get beautiful drapes etc., but if the spirit in my house isn’t one of peace and love, then my home will not be a safe haven for those I love. Get it? She didn’t, the minister’s wife told me I had a good heart BUT… There should have been no buts about it. A good heart is what makes you beautiful. Recently, I heard someone talking about the story of The Trojan Horse. I thought it was a good example. From the outside, it looked like a big wooden horse, but it was what was on the inside, that destroyed a city. What kind of army do you have hidden inside of you? Prepare that army to love others unconditionally and defeat the evil in the world. And then, adorn your outside any way you please. And if you’re satisfied with the end result, post a picture if you want. It’s okay, some people post pics of their dogs, or dinner plates, or cars, or whatever they want to share. Let no one judge you, and judge no one, because a good heart will stay perky and fresh long after the tits and tats begin to sag.

 

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